 | MOVIE DETAILS • Name: Pirates of Treasure Island • Year: 2006 • Country: USA • Director: Leigh Scott • Main cast: Lance Henriksen, Tom Nagel, Rebekah Kochan • Runtime: 85 minutes • Production company: The Asylum • TRAILER |
First of all, and as I guess you can imagine by the amount of movies from them reviewed in this site, I am a fan of all the productions coming from The Asylum. Yes, we all know, those simple movies with no pretensions won’t go anywhere (except all the craziness that come from their Sharknado series, of course), all they try is to help the viewers to have a good time. But this one we have in hands right now I must say it’s not going anywhere. Already from the cover, the title and all the aesthetics you can see they try to take advantage of all the Pirates of the Caribbean fame. There is nothing wrong with it, of course. Actually I found it kind of funny that they copy it all so much. But this is pretty much the only funny thing this movie has.
The acting is absolutely awful, the plot is stupid, the dialogs are retarded, much more retarded than the usual. Crazy plot twists that instead of giving life to the movie they just drive you totally confused. At least the scenarios are nice to see. All those beaches and jungles are pretty. But we are doomed when the scenarios are acting better than the actors.
Pirates that come back from the death, treasure hunting, jungles full of dangers, some supernatural, also some romance and a little bit of comedy. The classic ingredients for any adventure movie. But in this case the cocktail tastes awful, like vomit. The kind of cocktail that is so hard to drink that kills you the appetite to go on in a wild night. I wanted the swetest strawberry vodka ice whatever, but instead I got warm donkey piss.
Perhaps the only thing worth to note is the appearance of Lance Henriksen as one of the main pirates (no surprise here). Everybody loves that guy, but in this one he has no chance to save the disaster. He still is cooler than the rest of the cast, but not good excuse enough to spend an hour and hald of your life watching this senseless film.
Very very very disappointing.
My Rating: 2/10
URL IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0811011
