 | MOVIE DETAILS • Name: Alien: Covenant • Year: 2017 • Country: USA, UK, Australia, New Zealand, Canada • Director: Ridley Scott • Main cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup • Runtime: 122 minutes • Production company: Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, Scott Free Productions, TSG Entertainment • TRAILER |
Growing up, Alien (1979) was one of my favorite films. No matter how many times I watched it, I could never stomach the infamous alien burster scene (pun very much intended), and I was always on the edge of my seat while I waited for Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) to kick ass. And to be fair, Ripley running through a blacked out spaceship in a greasy tank top was at least partially responsible for my sexual awakening.
Maybe it’s unfair to preface a review of a new movie by talking about how great the “original” was, but inevitably these things become so entwined that it’s impossible to separate the two. Was Alien: Covenant a disappointment? Yes. Was this because it didn’t live up to the expectations created by the original movies? No, it was just that bad.
No part of this film made any sense and none of it was well filmed. The action was sloppy and hard to follow; the shoehorned in emotional notes were weak and left me confused; everyone did the most irresponsible thing they could possibly do, and in the end, they all deserved what happened to them.
Watching this movie, I found that I had a few questions that kept pulling me away from sitting back and “enjoying” the story:
- What are the crew’s qualifications for leading a colonization mission? Do they have military training? Are they part of some space program?
- Why aren’t they wearing suits on a foreign planet? Being able to breathe isn’t even half the reason why they are required, by the way.
- Murder droid??? What does his programming look like?
- Why does the android have longer hair than he did in Prometheus (2012) and why does he have natural roots? Who is dying his hair?
- Why does a ship with 2k sleeping colonist only have 1 (one) shuttle?
- Speaking of the colonists, did they know who was going to be in charge of their popsicle bods? I don’t think they would have agreed if they had known that no training would be expended for the crew.
- Who trained the crew? What is their training? Why can’t they hold guns properly?
- Why was New Planet Etiquette not part of their training? Also, what was their training? Are they professionals? Who let them in space??
- ??????
RATE: 1/10
IMDB URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2316204
