 | MOVIE DETAILS • Name: 3 Headed Shark Attack • Year: 2015 • Country: USA • Director: Christopher Ray • Main cast: Karrueche Tran, Jason Simmons, Rob Van Dam • Runtime: 89 minutes • Production company: The Asylum • TRAILER |
Okay, I supose this one won’t be a surprise. Just check the name of the movie. 3 Headed Shark Attack, can anything good come with that title? Specially knowing this is a sequel from another flick also from The Asylum entitled 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012). So what can we expect to find here? A stupid plot not very well done film but that can bring us an hour and half of dumb entertainment. And, at the end, what did we find here? Go on reading and you’ll see.
So yes, 3 Headed Shark Attack has all the ingredients: bad acting, bad CGI, bad script, bad direction, bad music, stupid youngsters and a slutty scientist. The thrilling tension is absolutelly absent, since every death or any scape plan is forseen by the mile. The conversations and character reactions are so unoriginals that it feels like they did a mix with all the other movies of the genre and only changed the faces of the actors.
After all, these kind of sea monster movies films are nothing but bad copies the classics of this sub-genre, like Jaws (1975) or Piranha (1978). But it’s like when you copied a VHS cassette over and over, the final result was every time a bit more further than the original. And at the end the interest for the whole thing is totally gone.
The action scenes are extremelly bad. Which is not good news for a movie based on action. Absolutely predictable even with the ridiculousness of it all. And what credibility does the main scientist of the film has, head of the expensive project, when the first time we see her she’s stripping down to only tiny panties? Eventually this movie feels like a swimsuit catalog more than an action film with a serious plot.
Sometimes I don’t know if the bad acting in these kind of movies is because the performers are infinitely awful or because the director has no idea about how to build a credible scene. But seeing the global aspect of it all, with the dull dialogs and the pathetic edition, I guess it doesn’t even matter.
And the plot, what to say about the plot? Well, it’s again more and more of the same. Some environmentalist thoughts underneath it all, with the message that it was us humans who created those mutant monsters because of all the polution and contamination we are dropping into the globe, but it all fades away with the stupid pseudo-sience (I love to use this word) and the dumb happenings. One remarkable thing could be the appearances of ex-wrestler Rob Van Dam and the eternal Danny Trejo in a very minor role, but that is just merely anecdotal.
3 Headed Shark Attack is bad, very bad. And it doesn’t reach the amount of well doneness at all the levels needed to make this an enjoyable product. But with lots of patience it could be somehow entertaining for some people. Although this time I can’t include myself in this group. Still, I’ve seen waaaay worse than this.
RATE: 2,5/10
IMDB URL: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4685096
